- Spoiler:
I'm shooting for an inspirational topic here. Let's see how well this goes...
On October 15th, 2011, I lost my dearest friend to cancer. The guy I had dated for over two years. The friend I had always wanted. The one person I would do anything to get back, or before then, to have healed.
Below, I have written a letter followed by spoilers containing poems and pictures. Please feel free to skip the letter and go straight to the poems and pictures... I apologize, my own pictures were accidentally erased.
Guest commenting is enabled. You MAY post pictures in the comments if you so desire; however, please note that they must be in BBC code ( [img*][/img] ) to show up!!To display spoilers, please click the word "spoiler".~~~~~
Dear Wesley,
I remember the day I met you. It was February 12, 2009. It was a Thursday. It was around 9.00 am, and I was sitting in Ms. Stephen's class. She was rearranging seating assignments. We got along right away, just being out nerdy selves. Yes, I remember that exactly. I remember the day you asked me out, a week later. Thursday, February 19, 2009. I remember going to JC's Avatar with you on December 20th, 2009, and Percy Jackson: TLT on Valentine's day.
When I moved, everything was a blur. I remember little of it now... aside from the pain at leaving you. I, like my brothers, did not want to move... I never told this to my mom.
The days have flown by over the past year, and you have not faded in my mind, as have the others I have known. The only thing I cannot remember is the sound of your voice... Your face remains clear in my mind. I still feel your hand on my shoulder when I am upset.
The day you died, I know where I was. I had been looking forward to October 15, 2011. A favorite author of mine was visiting the local library. In fact, this photo still remains on my home site:
- Spoiler:
Had I known you would die that day, I would never have wanted it to come.
Your number is still saved into my phone, the necklace you gave me I still wear everyday. The bracelet you gave me for Valentine's Day last year is sitting locked in the safe under my college bed. I still wear it.
The memories I have of time spent with you will never go away, nor will the memory of your face. The times I spent with you were the best I've ever had. I would not trade my time with you for the world... unless it meant you could return, healed, to walk again. You were my soulmate... you were the one who changed my life... you helped me through when I found out I had autism. You never let anything tear you done, no matter what, until you passed on. You were so brave until the end... You were strong and never let your pain show, something I will admire until I, too, pass on. You left a lasting mark in the hearts of everyone you knew, one of a survivor, one of a person who would never let their weakness get the better of them emotionally. You may be gone, but you live on...
I love you. I miss you.
I would do anything to have you alive again.
Roguette
~~~~~
POEMS AND PICTURESThis (poem)- Spoiler:
There was a time
I came upon
A memory of Life
A dream now gone
I watched the memory
As it rode high
Long before,
It'd lit the sky
I watched this fading path and saw
It was not really a memory at all
I watched it fly and follow you
And about it, I have no clue
All I know
Is fleeting, brief
Our time on earth
Is oh, so sweet
So why spend the rest
Of it in a fight
Why not forget
And get on with life?
Why not give
This gift a chance
Without it we
Could lifelessly dance
Tomorrow or today
Might be our last
This all said and done
Forget the past.
High school picture- Spoiler:
Entry 1 (poem)- Spoiler:
As the ceiling falls down outside my door
I think of you, I cry some more
I think of the way your arms held me
I let you go after you set me free
Your words each one my heart touched
Your hugs each one for me they vouched
Every time I think your name
The sorrow comes back, wild, untamed
Wesley, for you, my heart roared
With every beat I'd watched it soar
With every kiss, with every hug
for a fleeting moment, I became I dove
With you my heart did belong
but now you're gone, thus ends the song.
Hospital- Spoiler:
Entry 2 (poem)- Spoiler:
My lips scream how, my heart screams why
Why did you have to go and die
To leave me standing here, all alone,
to leave me here, while you went home
Why did you die, when I could not
I cannot follow you, but you won't be forgot
You were the light guiding my soul
My first love, my last, you made me whole
to you my heart had always belonged
I'll never forget you, our love was a song
What did you see, that fateful night
Was it the darkness, or maybe a light?
may God's voice ever drive you on,
I wish it was mine, but now you're gone.
Gone from here, gone from there,
I cannot find you anywhere
I still love you, my beloved friend
You were my guide, until the end.
The Funeral...- Spoiler:
Missing Sol (poem)- Spoiler:
[20:35:46] my sun is falling
the leaves
match its descent
like the lowering of a coffin
into the deep, dark ground.
Like the calling of an angel
like the singing of the wind
his soul will rise to heaven
I yet will see him again
Even when my body
turns to ash and flies away
i will see his falling body
I will wish for it to stay
above the ground
where i can see it
with the shadows all around
the life that was not for taking
has left
and fallen down
~~~~~
Nothing can change what has happened. But that's not to say what's happened can't change the future.
Roguette outNaNoWriMo 2012
Copyright Information:
This, Entry 1, Entry 2, and Missing Sol belong to Symbi Aya Jay.
"This" by Symbi Aya Jay is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. (The Creative Commons license covers all of her work with that license type, not just one poem.)
Pictures of Wesley belong to respective owners, namely the Seevers family. (Used without consent.)
Picture of Cinda Williams Chima property of Symbi Aya Jay.
